31 December 2007: Last Day of the Year!!!

Last day of the year!!!

I cannot really tell how I feel about this, but hey, it is the end of 2007, and soon 2008 will begin!!!

Another year has passed............. ________________ Wow.....!!!!!

I survived another year!!! =__________="

Okay, I am getting older by the second.

Man, see how much rubbish I am talking here....

Coz it's the end of the year!!!!

I'm not high on booze, I have not even started drinking yet!!!

It's just me being disappointed not getting the chance to go diving on new year's day!!!

Damn!!!

Happy New Year to you all Johns and Janes!!!! May you have another GREAT year ahead!!!

Fed Up

I have been working late these days, and the work load is starting to get to me.

Don't get me wrong, I still do get my rest, and I get enough of that.

What is getting onto me, is the monotony of my work, and the lack of companion to actually discuss about it.

Yes, I work alone in my place.

I am just starting to get very fed up with my job situation, which seems to be getting nowhere. Whenever there is a problem, I have only myself to handle it. Forget about getting help or support from the head quarter. I am happy enough if they did not give me more trouble to deal with.

Yes, my head quarter does not support their staffs at the other end of the country. Not only do they not provide help nor support, they create more problems and damage for you.

Yes, I not only have to manage my own problem, I have to take and clean up the mess that they create for me.

I am so f****** fed up with all this.

One Weekend Some Time Ago

I was sitting in front of SOHO one Saturday night, sipping little sips of Black Label from a plastic cup (the pub had run out of glasses, it was a weekend night), while watching the people coming in and out of the place.

This really was an interesting place.

Like my friend Jude once told me,"People come in a couple, or they come in a group. Some come alone. Some come to make a group, some come to be in a group." This was very true for SOHO during weekends. (Jude was actually referring to another pub when he said that, but I guess that was the truth for most places.)

SOHO was packed that night. It was like the whole town of young people were there. The age group that came here each night seemed to be getting younger and younger. Everyone was drinking and laughing like a maniac all around. Yet, I still see a young girl sitting alone by the flower pots in front of the place. It was nearly midnight, and she was looking tired and bored. I guessed not everybody enjoyed the place.

I wonder if the people there were truly happy.

I suddenly felt tired. May be, I should just go home.

People Are Like Sea Urchins

Let's face it. Life is a bitch, and I am like a sea urchin.

Ever saw a sea urchin before?

Let me put this picture in your mind. It is a circular piece of organism, with spikes as long as 3 to 20 cm all around it's body (test, to be exact, the "hide" of this organism is called test), and it moves around with their adhesive, tube feet around the bed of the ocean. Their colours vary from black to brown, green, olive and dull purple. Some have spines (or spikes, as I like to call it) that are so sharp that they could poke through one layer of 4mm thick rubber into your skin. The tip of the spikes will then be broken off and be embedded under your skin, in certain cases, through your flesh.

These creatures lives in a community. They group together in one colony to keep the predators away. That is how the human community lives, isn't it?

So, now you have an idea what a sea urchin is.

Right, so where do I fit in?

I cannot live without people around, yet I cannot bear to be too close to one.

Get it?

No?

We are all people with our own quikes and quirks (i.e. characteristics, individuality, uniqueness etc. etc.). Our quikes and quirks are like the spikes on the sea urchin. We, our hearts, our feelings, our emotions, or whatever it is that people call it in the similar sense, are like the body in the centre. The body is soft and fragile, and thus is vunerable to any kind of attack.

People are like sea urchins. They cannot live outside the community, for they need one another to keep one another safe, yet they cannot live too closely together. You get stung by the spikes of the other.

So, is it possible for us all to live together, without hurting the other?

Of course!

I stood there on the jetty stretching out from the Pom Pom island that day, and looked at the colony of black sea urchins under the jetty. I saw that each of the sea urchins kept a safe distance in between one another. This way, they are able to keep the community safe from predators, and yet live peacefully with one another.

I guess we all have to learn from the urchins, eh?

Hair Wash, Another Unsatisfactory Job Done

I was wondering about the area in Crowne Tower (天阁）the day before, and I suddenly decided to have my hair washed.

So, I walked up to the saloon on the top-most floor of the shopping complex, went in and sat down.

The layout of the saloon was not too bad. The main colour was white, which gave the whole area a clean look. Even the chairs were white.

The attendant that came up to me was a boy advancing into his twenties. He had short hair that was dyed wooden-orange, and a pair of dark-rimmed spectacles. He asked what I needed, and I told him that I would like my hair washed.

I was lead to a chair and handed two magazines: "iFeel" and "风采". I was quite alright with "风采", but did I look like I was still a teenager? (Note: "iFeel" was a magazine for teenage girls).

The attendant then asked what shampoo would I like to use, the better "professional" shampoo, or the normal, standard shampoo. As they charged an additional RM 6.00 for the better shampoo, I opted for the normal one.

The shampoo boy was very strong with his hands. I had to tell him twice to stop squeezing my head because it was hurting me.

The wash area was behind the counter, and I asked for warm water. The water mix of the shower tap was not working as well as other saloons, as the hot and cold water were not mixed evenly, and I got periods of cold and hot splashes on my hair.

When it was time to blow-dry my hair, another guy, whom I presumed was the owner, or the stylist of the premise, came to the shampoo boy's rescue. He was doing an awkward job with my hair, tying too much hair up and pulling strands of my hair out.

The stylist was no better. I only asked for a normal blow-dry, straight hair, and he was awkward in doing that too. I noticed that he did not dare to pull my hair down more to straighten the tip, thus leaving it frizzy.

My bangs were done in yet another awkward fashion. I looked really weird in that.

When I paid at the counter, the lady charged me RM 18.00 for such unsatisfactory results. At the side of the counter was a certificate showing that one of the stylist was from Inspirational Alan Saloon. I had to resist rolling my eyes at that certificate. A stylist who could not even do a straight hair well dared to present to the world such certification, or was Alan no better?

The saloon was called McPhee.

FaceBook

I have finally got myself into FaceBook!!!

Sigh...

Hehe....

When I first received an invitation to join FaceBook back nearly a year ago, I was thinking, hmm... not another "Friendster" or "Hi5" .....

Getting into these networks, it requires one to spend a certain amount of time to maintain it. From updating one's profile, to uploading your pictures, and reading your mails and comments.

Sometimes, most of the mails are junks.

But after a few invitations, I finally relented, and clicked join.

Now I am getting hooked trying to familiarize myself with the new thing, and it is fun!!! Haha!!!!

So, gals and guys!!! See you in FaceBook!!!

Sprained Muscle... Ouch!!!

I sprained myself yesterday between my shoulder blades while I was about to take a shower. Can you believe that?

I never thought that one could sprain the muscles in between the shoulder blades. But if Dumbledore could be gay, and Harry Potter coming back from death, I guess anything's possible, right?

I took the day off, as I was not able to drive properly with my neck unable to twist at an angle of more than 30 degrees. I am wondering what my boss would be thinking about me taking my day off. But what the heck, he did not think about me when making stupid decisions and asking me to execute them. I felt so foolish.

I'll be home resting.

Annoying

Miss, welcome to R***!!!

-Nod to the attendant.-

Hair cut?

No, just a hair wash.

Please be seated here.

-I walked over and sat down.-

The shampoo boy got busy with the shampoo and the water.

Miss, we have a special promotion for hair treatment, it's only RM35.00 only. Would you like to try it.

No, thank you.

Miss, why don't you curl your hair?

No, I like my hair the way it is.

Miss, the curl is the fashion now.

No, I'm fine as I am.

Miss, you could try to dye your hair.

No, I'm fine.

Miss, you should try the hair treatment, your hair seem a little dry.

No, thank you.

Miss, it's not expensive, only RM35.00....

Hurgh........!!!! *Roll my eyes*

...........

I am not coming back to this saloon ever again.

Miss, this is your bill.... RM 22.00 your wash.

What!!!

I am SOOOOO not coming back to this saloon EVER, EVER again!!!!

To Love A Selfish Lover

I am down, and I am back in life.

A friend text me this evening and asked if I wrote that post "Selfish Lover". I said yes.

He said that he knew how that felt like, for he, too, was going through the same process. He then asked if there was any advice for such relationship.

I said I did not know any.

The one and only way to make a relationship work, is for those involved in such relationship to really want it to work.

Nothing can really work if there was no heart (sincerity) and effort.

In any relationship, the most that one could do, could only make up to 50% of the total effort, though that might take 100% of one's effort. The other 50% would depend on the other party.

This is why most that are involved in such relationships will constantly feel insecure. When one's effort exceeds the other, there is an imbalance in the give and take of the relationship, tipping the balance over. The one that gives will eventually get tired of giving, and the one that was given will feel the burden of the giver heavier and heavier.

We can never be sure of our partner unless they truly love us.

Loving someone who only loves him or herself is always and will forever be painful.

Please bear the pain if you truly love that person.

For, if you did not give up, there would still be 50% of chance for success.

Good luck, my dear friend. I hope that you will never abandon the love and hope that keep us all moving forward. May love and hope be with you throughout your journey.

Blog on the Riot in Myanmar

CNN had reported from London a blog that told about the inside stories of the clashes between the monks and the military juntas of Myanmar.

(Click here for the story by CNN.com)

Ko-htike is a blogger that moved from Myanmar to the United Kingdom seven years ago for his studies. Now, he wakes up at three o'clock in the morning to view through e-mails and photos sent out from Myanmar telling the violence and inhumane treatment suffered by the Burmese people.

Ko-htike said that these people were putting their lives in danger just by doing that.

Few foreign media are allowed in the country. The latest news was that the internet had been cut off in Myanmar.

(Click here for Ko-thike's blog on the Myanmar situation.)

The blog is now calling for the action of foreign aids to help the people and stop the violence in Myanmar, which has been for more than one week now. The monks and the burmese have suffered much.

Selfish Lover

You know how it is like to be in a relationship, where one of you is always the one to take one step back and let the other has his/her way?

Em-Hmm.. (Sorting through my documents)

Whenever there is a problem, you just do not want to say it out, for you are afraid that he/she would be unhappy, and you fear losing him/her.

Yeah... *I know, I've been through that,*(continuing with my work)

But keeping the problems inside does not solve the problem. Instead, it only adds tension to the relationship...

Mmm... (looking at my documents, *these numbers are wrong*)

With all the problems inside you, you are rigid when you are around him/her, or very quiet, or uneasy, or unhappy. And when you are like this, he/she will be affected. And he/she will feel like running away from you.

(Look up, then look down at my work again)

If you say it out, then he/she will say that you are giving them a lot of burden, and he/she will use that to break up with you.

Sigh...

So, the conclusion is, this is not a healthy relationship. He/she just does not love you that much. Not even enough for you to be yourself, to say whatever it is that you want in front of him/her. Given the chance, he/she will use every little reason to leave you, even petty ones.

These are the people who love themselves and only themselves.

Just let it go, bro.

Repentance

Does she still call you?

Nope!

Why? What is the problem?

I don't know.

Hmm....

Right. Hmmm...

There will be times in your life, when you meet with people who will become your friend, then your good friend, then you close friend, and all of a sudden, for certain reasons, the two of you become enemies.

Now why would that happen?

It could have been due to those certain reasons, something that you said or did had hurt him/her. It could have been a misunderstanding. It could have been anything.

But whatever the reason is, whatever the mistake is, there will always be a way of resolving and amending. Nothing is unsolvable. And nothing can't not be forgiven. Even the death of Jesus.

I like the part of the bible, where Jesus asked the people who wanted to stone a sinner to death, and Jesus said, "Whoever has not sinned, can throw stones at this woman." Nobody in the crowd dared to throw the first stone.

I know that I have done many wrongs in my life, and that I am still unknowingly (sometimes knowingly, like sleeping in the afternoon when I am supposed to iron my clothes and cleaning my room ;P) making many of the mistakes known to mankind. But I also know that I am not a perfect person, that making mistakes is part of my journey in life, from the beginning to the end. I try to be good, and learn the good. I try to practise them in my daily life, though in many ways it brings a tougher journey than the other.

But I am bound to make mistakes, for I am still young and naive in many ways. There are many things that I am not taught right in the beginning, and I have to suffer on my way with that. For those things that are dark and nasty inside me, life has a way of cleaning it out. Through life itself, it presents difficulties and trials. Through difficulties and trials, it brings growth, cleansing and betterment.

We are a better and stronger person because of what life has to offer to us. Both the good and the bad, they help us to learn and grow strong. I am a better person because of what happened to me in the past. I may not talk about them to anyone else, but they stay in my heart, and I cherish those experiences.

My wish is to do right by my loved ones, my family and my friends. I may make mistakes, and I am bound to, and I will always take responsibility for what I have done wrong, and bear the consequences.

But please do not give up in me. For all the wrongs that I have done, that is the worst punishment.

I am not the best, nor the holiest. I am a commoner, and I am learning, and trying to be good.

Please forgive me for what I have done.

How Can It Be Wrong?

There are a few things in life that I resent.

One, it is to be taught the wrong values in life.

Two, it is to be taught the wrong attitute in life.

Three, it is to suppress my original self and be forced to become someone or something that fits the "proper" way or behaviour of the community.

There are more, but these are the only ones that I can think of for the time being.

Many of us are brought up not knowing how to think for ourselves. We are taught that if something pleases, then that is the right thing.

We are not taught to stand up or stand by for what is right, but to think about our own benefit and stay the h*** away from any thing that could bring trouble to yourself, even if you know that there was something that you could do to help. Helping is troublesome.

We are taught to be selfish. When there is an accident on the road, slow down only to look, but don't pay any mind to that man laying there on the ground. If you gave him a ride, his blood might just dirty your back seat.

I believe that helping can never be troublesome. How could helping an old lady or a blind to cross the road be troublesome? How could slowing your vehicle for a pedestrian to pass be annoying?

When there is a break-in in your neighbour's house, should you just close you windows and pretend not to see it?

We are afraid of getting involved. We are afraid that if we tried to be the hero, we would get ourselves into greater trouble in the end.

No one is asking you to be the hero. Heroes only exist in the stories and the movies.

I believe that there is always a way of helping people, and turning things around.

Helping will only bring trouble if you did it the wrong or stupid way. Do it right, and you will minimize your risk of getting trouble.

But there will be incident when you help, you will have to pay a little, like letting your back seat being messed up with blood.

There will always be a way to help and contribute, as long as it is done right. If you do it the smart way, the effective way and the productive way, you will never go wrong.

Harmonious

This is one picture that I love from Madonna and her three children/adopted children.

Each individual is unique, yet there is a sense of comfort in the presence of one another.

Even with differing skin tone or hair texture, love can make us all live harmoniously together.

Happy Birthday!!! Shun!!!

It is the birthday of a friend, Shun, and I am writing this post to honour this day in which he was born 25 years ago.

He likes to photograph himself. Not a bad hobby, eh?

This is the Shun with the "executive look"

He can be cute at times...

His "specky-look"...

His "poster-look"...

And, His, erm..., "Greek-God look"....

:D HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Shun!!!
May your days be as bright as the sun shines!!! :-)

Pom Pom Island: The Group

9 guys + 4 gals = 13 in a group

This is us!!!

Pom Pom Island: The Introduction

Last August, I was very lucky to join the "expedition" group to explore the reefs of Pom Pom Island. Pom Pom is near the Sipadan island. From Semporna, Sabah, Malaysia, it took only forty minutes of boat ride to reach the island.

Pom Pom is an island undergoing the process of being developed into a holiday resort. The owner of the resort, Mr. Peter Tiong, bought 30 acres of land on the island for such development.

The resort is still under construction, and Peter gave us a good price to put up in his luxurious resort, with minimal facilities. Though minimal, we had all that we needed to survive, even hot showers at night (but only at night).

Pom Pom island is absolutely beautiful. A haven for all who seeks the tranquility and serenity of mother nature. White sand beaches, crystal clear blue water, smooth like a mirror, and the soft quietness of the island land habitat. This is absolutely the perfect place to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city life, to have a moment of peace.

We came here to dive, to explore the reefs all around the island, and we were all in for some "surprises". We did not initially have thought of such situations to be.

The view from the chalet that we spent our nights in. We were having a blissful time as a nature seeker.

There will be more updates of my Pom Pom trip in my following posts. For now, this is only an introduction of what mother nature has kindly and generously offered us. Please stay tuned for more. :)

All pictures in this post are contributed by Monsieur L. Longeau, who takes the most wonderful pictures I have seen. Thank you.

Kudat's Diver Down

While I was hanging out in Edward's dive shop last night, I heard them talking about one particular diver who was sent to Labuan for decompression illness's treatment. Sources said that this man suffered from decompression illness after an one-hour dive in Kudat. It was believed that he stayed too long at a depth of 50m.

After starting diving myself, I have always being asked this question, "Diving? Is it dangerous?"

When I first attended classes for my "Open Water Diver"'s license, I was told that diving was one of the safest sports in this world. Statistically, there are more deaths and injuries in driving than diving. :) As long as the diver practises all safety precautions necessary, and have respect for the nature, I doubt that anything worse than a coral bite or a cramped muscle would happen.

To me, the only danger in diving is the STUPIDITY and ARROGANCE of a diver.

Teresa's 150th Dive Celebration

Last night one lot of us gathered in Edward's dive shop to celebrate Teresa having done 150 dives!!! That was just incredible!!!

Congratulations, Teresa!! Hope you keep up that good work, and keep on diving.

Diving is living, living is diving!!! (That's her tagline...) :)

Oh, and she operates the smallest hostel in town...the BORNEO SEAHARE HOSTEL. Only online reservation is entertained. No walk-ins.

The Yoo Couple

Dr. and Mrs. Yoo C. Y. came visiting 13 September 2007. I was able to take this picture of them in Cafe Cino, Hilton, while having a cheese cake and cappucino. This was the second night of their stay. They left on 15 September 2007.

I was able to ask some questions, which helped me in clarifying some of the issues that was bothering me for a while. It was good to have someone experienced to guide you.

Always respect your elders, even though they may not be as strong as before.

UNIMAS Snorkelling Session (16 Sep 2007)

I hardly blog nowadays. I could say that I was busy, but in actual fact, not so busy that I had no time to blog. It was just that I was very occupied for a while with other aspects in my life, and when I finally got home, I was just too tired to turn on my PC and start blogging.

But here it is:

Sept 16, 2007

Edward was having some UNIMAS students coming over to Talang-Talang islands for snorkelling session. I went to help out. Most of the students that came were really young, I guessed less than twenty years in age. Both races of Chinese and Indians were there, and like our society, they tend to stick to the group that share their common appearances.

There were not too many divers this week. Just five of them, including one Kenny Sia, a famous local blogger. He came with Lawrence and his wife, both of whom I had not met before. Peggy was friendly, and she was easy to talk to. Lawrence had an underwater camera, but it suffered a leakage on his first dive.

The bunch of UNIMAS students, most of them were girls. Some of them were not very comfortable in the water, and tend to freeze while I took them in turn to snorkel around the area. One such girl told Edward that there were not many fishes, and Edward took her down diving in a coral patch just beside Talang Besar. Girl was stunned by the variety of fishes and their traffic down there. Ed was pretty smug after that.

Clare, David and I climbed to the roof of Adi's boat to boat jump. I just had my snacks and was feeling rather full and lazy. But Clare insisted on going up, so I went with her, with David following. When we jumped, I had a hard time burping myself.

I notice that whenever I was asked to do things that I did not really want to, yet was harmless doing it, I tend to complain like an old lady. I would keep on rambling until the task was finally done. I am just such an old "Lor-sor" (i.e. Someone who talks and reminds people about things endlessly).

The water was clear, thankfully. Visibility was about 5 to 7 metres. But I wonder for how long it would stay like this before the rainy season set in and brought the silt up from the bottom. The climate this year was very unusual. It had been raining really hard during the dry season. No one really knows what to expect for the end of the year.

Alwin

Dr. Alwin Lee Kim Peng
(1981 - 2006)

Six months has passed since Alwin passed away last Christmas.

I was lazing on the couch on Christmas noon, easing my hangover from the rowdy night before, when I received this sms:

"Dr Alwin just pass away 25/12/06 @10.44am...Thank you. Fr: family"

For two heart beats, I just laid there staring at my phone screen, before it finally dawned on me.

Alwin was really gone.

The few months counting down to Alwin's last moment, I sent him more sms's and called him more times than any other times in college. He was still the same him. A little naughty, and being himself. I guess I regretted a little for not making the trip over to KL to visit him when he was hospitalized. At least WM did make it on one trip, after I told her that Alwin was suffering from Acute Myeloid Leukaemia (AML). My case, I had to fly over to his place, and that was not something I was willing to do at that time.

So, I made that up by calling him often, though not everyday, and prayed for him in the nights.

Alwin did a bone marrow transplant sometime in April or May last year, and was for a period at a slightly better condition. He even went home and had supper out in the market place with his family once. But AML was no easy disease. Every single effort was needed in order to fight it. It was one of the most aggressive and lethal malignancy that killed young people who was diagnosed with it.

Eventually, Alwin stopped replying my messages. He was getting too weak to even type a message on his cell phone.

I was getting more and more worried as the day passed by.

I kept another of his sms in my phone:

"still having discomfort & in hospital! will email u my progress later! dun call me now! can pray for me?"

It just broke my heart to read it.

Then, at 23 December 2006, I remembered another sms that told of him going into a coma. It was then that I knew that it won't be long.

Two days later, Alwin passed away.

Rest in peace, Al, and I hope that your stay here was good.

Heat

I looked to the sky, and saw that it was greyish blue. I guess it would rain this afternoon.

I hoped that it would rain.

I had been having some heat spells for the past few days. My voice had changed due to that, and I kept feeling lazy and tired in midday. I never liked that.

During the days when I was in the U.K., Summer was the time when I spent the least time sleeping, for the day was long in summer. I could be up at six in the morning, and kept going on with life until eleven in the evening, yet not feel the slightest bit of tiredness.

Back here in Kuching, the heat really got to me, especially during the dry season.

One other thing that I did not like about the dry season, was that the neighbouring country would burn their jungles at this time. That was to prepare their land for a new year of planting. Burning of the land at such big scale, caused the whole region to be enveloped in smog and haze.

I hated that. Still do.

Let's just hope that I'll survive through this period once again for another year.

Talk

I know that this is a little bit out of the blue, but.. I'm MARRIED!!!

Nah~

Never mind what I just said, the thing is, I'm happy. A little bit bordering blissfully happy. Well, may be not there yet, but I'm working my way there.

I have taken some of my weights off my shoulder and out of my heart. So, that gives me more freedom to move around. Or, should I say, I am just glad that I got what I wanted to say off my chest now.

Previously, I had been burdening myself with all my own thoughts and my emotions. With everything bottled up in me, I give myself no space and no air to breathe in. Not talking is most certainly not healthy, the same goes with talking too much. :)

But now, I have had my chance to talk, and to get those things of me, I am most definitely feeling absolutely happy.

I like to talk. It keeps the relationship healthy. But only with a few conditions that you are able to speak the truth, with no emotional or any other form of biases, and that you speak from your heart. Put the person you are talking to in front of you, and think about that person when you talk. Remember, the purpose is to get your point(s) across.

Talk and try to make that person understand, but don't expect him or her to fully grasp your meaning or your heart in one moment. Sometimes, we all need sometime before we could fully recognize another's journey and heart.

Thank you for talking to me, or should I say, letting my talk?

The Truth

This was a blog that I had written on March 11, 2007, in my friendster account. Enjoy reading, people!!!

I have been reading the blogs of my friend, and I am quite surprised by the things that he/she writes.

There are blogs where people will just complain and complain, and there are blogs where people will just talk about their emotions with no concrete details. These are the blogs that won't usually attract any readers, apart from their inner circles.

I like blogs where people talk honestly about their lifes and their thinkings. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings. As long as one talks honestly, that would still be better than the sweetest lies in this world, though most of the time, the truth is a bitter taste worse than that of a bitter gourd. The truth would sting. But it would always be a thing that push a person to better himself.

I opt for the honest truth, brutally honest. I like to believe that people like Eminem succeeded because their songs were the real life painting of the society that he lives in. Although ugly, it is still the truth, and that is what all of us is looking for. The truth.

Oh well, I guess the other thing that turns me away from a person's blog, is that those blogs are written in English so bad, that it just hurts to read them. No offense to all, but I just cannot stand it when people would just ignore the simple rules of grammar and go, "I is..."!!!

Forgive me for saying it out loud, but this is the truth, and it is better than the sweetest lies in this world, is it not?

Sibu

So, I had been up and into the town of Sibu. It was not all that bad. I mean, I did get to see my friend, the one from KL, and see another friend, that one was from Kuching, and finally, I got to make myself a new friend.

The story went like this.

It was finally Saturday morning, and I was all packed to go to the airport. It was silly of me, though not unfortunate, to think that my flight leaves one hour before the actual time, and arrived at the airport two hours earlier. I rushed to the check-in counter thinking that I was late, yet was absently wondering to myself why were there not more people checking in.

It was only when I went down to the lobby for a cup of coffee and some breakfast, that it hit me. My flight was not until an hour and a half later!!!

I took my time having my sandwiches, and reading the free "Eastern Times". They had it at the AirAsia check-in counter in the Kuching International Airport. Nothing very prominent or outstanding for the day. After a while, I got bored reading it.

I roamed around the area for some time, and took some effort to find the Mandarine fish in the tropical aquarium set in the departure hall. I could not see it. Morning was not their time of daily outing.

I was walking down the corridor towards my boarding gate when a girl seated to my left lifted her arm and waved enthusiatically at me. I looked at her and registered a familiar face, yet recognition failed me. She had a big smile, and a girlie character. I sat down beside her, out of politeness, and started talking.

The wonder of small talks, is that it allows you time to search through your mind the net of people connections, finding that one key name or identity, yet not offend the very person that you are having a animated converstation with, as though you know her from the very first minute your eyes are set on her. Ah, the art of communication, it never fails to save relationships!

Anyway, We were talking, and she found out that I was alone on my trip to Sibu, with no car to take me into town. This kind little lady offered me a ride down to town with her father. I was absolutely blessed!!! Why, thank you very much!!!

So, down into town I went with her family, in her wonderful white Toyota. It took her parents some effort to find the place where I was supposed to stay for the night. But we finally found it. And her father was absolutely kind and helpful, even reminded me to call them if I ever needed anything. Thank you, again. :)

The teacher of my friends came to the door and let me in. I looked at her and raised my eye brows. Teacher in her teacher's outfit. It took a little getting use to.

We sat around for a while, and she took me out for lunch at one of those kopitiam in the town centre. We ordered, and talked about life and people back home. It was nice, sometimes, to be able to just talk, a little deeper, a little more quietly.

We went for a hair wash later on. It was her favorite way of passing time. Oh, no, to her, hair washing was not a pass time for her. It was a neccessity. It was a part of life itself.

We were bewildered though, for that particular saloon that we went to, had their customers laid down for a hair wash. Imagine that.

The girls that did our hair talked to us, and asked us where we were from. I said that we came from the jungle. Teacher started to shake her head when I started my story. I told those girls the very details of my home origin, and Teacher would just sigh with a laugh and shake her head. Later on that evening, Teacher would tell me that I was really fooling people around. I retorted, asking her whether there was one word of a lie that I told those girls. Teacher was silent for a moment, and finally said no. I did not lie to those girls. I was just merely having some fun of our own with them. Harmless little fun.

That evening, we had dinner at a restaurant near the bus terminal. It was good, but the meal was too large for just two. We did not complain. Teacher was happy eating. I was just being careful not to overeat and had myself a stomachache later.

On our way back, my other friend, this one from KL, whom I came all the way down to meet, had finally called. She wanted me to come to her hotel to spend the night with her. And I was glad later that I did not, for I had to share a single bed with her, and a room with two other women.

Furthermore, it was late, and Teacher was tired. I could not possibly ask her to send me back into town just to meet her. That would just be too unfair and inappropriate.

I mean, respect me a little. I had come all this way, and you had not spare a single minute for me, nor the effort to arrange for the meeting, even accused me of not making the effort to meet up. What do you expect? Me to be your on-call friend and come to you only when you please?

So, We got back, showered and changed, and sat lazily in front of the TV. Teaher was sleepy. So, I asked her to go to bed.

We went to bed. I slept on the floor in a sleeping bag. I could not sleep the whole night. I listened to the dogs howled thrice in the night. The third time they howled, I knew that it was morning.

I spent only an hour an a half with my other friend the next day. Then, I asked Teacher to send me to the airport. So, there, my Sibu trip ended.

But it was not a lost. I spent quality time with a quality friend. I met another friend on my way back, and I totally allowed myself to relax during this whole trip. I mean, since I was there, might as well make it into a holiday!!

I was happy. Things may not alway work in your favour, but learn the art of turning the stakes around and make things work towards your advantage. Be open, and be smart. Life is beautiful.

In the end, I gained more than I thought I would lose.

Virginia Tech Shooting

It was a shocking news to hear about the shooting spree in Virginia Tech.

33 deaths, including the shooter, Cho Seung-Hui himself.

This was a piece of saddening news. This is a maddening world.

But as quickly as the incident came, the whole issue ended as abruptly. For one moment, the whole world was looking at the shooting. Now, there was not even one article telling the aftermath of the event.

Oh, well. Life moves on.

But, my heart goes out to those who have lost someone to the shooting. I dare not say that I understand what it is like to lose someone you love in a split second, but I try to feel for you.

Please be strong, and may God blesses those souls lost.

Stupid

You know how it was like when you had done something really stupid, yet there was no turning back? And while you were feeling stupid all the way, someone came along and started to laugh at you. That, made you felt even more stupid and the act worthless.

I had just paid RM200.00 for a trip down to Sibu, for less than 24 hours in town, to meet a friend. A friend who had been a mate to me during my time as a houseman in Kuala Lumpur.

I know that she is my mate, and that we have spent some really good times together. But that does not mean that she could use our friendship to threaten me to go into town to meet her.

I mean, it takes money and a day of leave to do just that.

Furthermore, she could be so busy with work that she might not have the time to really talk to me.

Now, I'm feeling really stupid.

To Trust, Or To Believe? What Should It Be?

I have not been here for a month. My life has been busy, busy picking up things where I have left them before. Old friends to gather, new friends to meet, and my work. Everyday starts with me picking up the unfinished ends of yesterday and continuing with what should be done for the rest of it, and starting the whole cycle all over again.

Once in a while, something new would pop up. And that would most certainly disturbed your routine.

These surprises, they could be pleasant, or not.

But whether they were angels, or devils, they most certainly would leave you with a mark. Something for you to remember them by, be it a spot where you smiled at once you laid your eyes on it, or a scar that was just too ugly to bear sight.

Some scars may be ugly, but they are your medals that honour your growth and maturity. Some scars are just there because you chose to trust the wrong person.

I do not trust easily. People lie. This is a plain fact.

Never trust easily, nor fully. Always leave some space in between so you will have time to bulk. This was my lesson.

But once in a while, if it appears in front of me, I will choose to believe.

And once I believe, I hold on to it fast, and will never let go.

Trust and believe. They are not the same.

I may not trust a person's character to accomplish certain things, but I believe in the good in him, that he is capable of being kind to others.

It is hard to trust, harder still to believe. Yet believing can be so easy, the moment that you see it, you will know what to believe in.

It is hard to trust, but believing makes things easier. At least it makes living with that person more bearable.

有关距离的一篇书

不知道这是谁， 从朋友的部落客找到的。觉得他那关于距离的文章有趣， 所以特将那篇文章连接过来，请各位看官读读：

http://lyh79.blogspot.com/2007/03/blog-post_30.html

Something New

It was like deja vu...

I called up a friend's mother the night before, and she told me things that were scarily similar to what I had been going through for these past few days, without me telling her about my life.

And the night before I was with another friend, who talked to me all things regarding the spiritual side of the human being.

So now, I am making more friends of the spiritual aspect?

Oh well, it is just another phase in my life. At least it's interesting. Something new.

Burnt Out

I came into work, gloomy to say the least. It was the tenth day of Chinese New Year, and I started to feel rather tired of my recent life.

Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely blissfully happy this Chinese New Year. It has been ten years since our lot graduated high school. Though we are able to meet a few of our friends in between these times, we do not get to see everyone.

Best of all, I get to make new good friends, many of whom are only "pass-by-give-you-a-look" kind of friends when we were in school.

Life is very interesting and fulfilling in it's own way, isn't it?

I am happy, to say the least.

But it has been nearly a full ten days of late night outing, and I am burnt out.

I need a break, guys. Real nice to see you all, but thankfully, you guys are all leaving these few days. No hard feelings, but I will still cherish the moments that we spend together, and your love and heart for me.

Please be safe and take care, wherever you are, my mates!!!

Rag

I woke up this morning, and suddenly things became clear to me.

There were times when I spent too much time and energy doing things that reared no outcome. Yet I chose not to believe in that reality. I like to believe that with my effort, I could change things.

It was great to be able to think like that, and sometimes, things really did change if enough effort and time were invested.

But that does not work for every case.

A piece of torn clothing, however you mend it, will never be the same again, however much you wish it to be.

Reality hit this morning, and I finally decided to let it go.

I will have many more new clothing in the future, though this may be my favorite one, once torn, it will have to go.

Class of '97: Tenth Year Reunion

Sometimes, without realizing it, time most certainly flies. Everyone has their own lifes to live on. But once in a while, some of us would slow down and start to think: How far have we all come?

Ladies and Gentlemen!!!! This is the night of the Tenth Year Reunion for the Class of '97, from the ever famous KHS!!!

It started one night when one of us had a little drink, and started to think about old friends and old school mates. It was then when he decided to have an occasion when everyone of us would gather together and have a wonderful time.

It only took him less than a minute to make that decision, a night to find four others to help him with this project, and less then three months to get eveything ready and everyone invited.

So the date was set on the third night of Chinese New Year, and the invitations sent out. By word of mouth this piece of news spread far and fast. Before Chinese New Year, we all received the news.

It was an anticipated occasion. Who would have thought, we had all graduated high school for ten years.

It was a wonderful night. We have a wonderful crowd, and a wonderful moment. Each and everyone of us is a jewel on its own accord. The night shone because of each and everyone of us.

This was a night of renewed friendship, a night when we said thank you to our teachers who were now older and wiser. A night where we see old faces with a new heart. A night where people are just glad that we were all there.

Blue-green was the colour of the night

Long-found Friend: Janet, you looked fabolous!!!

My pal, someone who took me in like a brother.

And a friend who cares a lot... I thank you... :)

The bunch of sweeties

And the bunch of naughties...

I guess no one would believe that one of us was a teacher retired just a few years ago...

And this, dear all, is the lovely son of the Kho's!!!

Don't we just look good with each other??? Ha ha!!!

Valentine

It's valentine's day, and it started me thinking.

What was the purpose of valentine's day?

They said that it was a day to celebrate the love between two people. I do not object.

They said that it was a day to show your love to your loved one. I do not object.

They said that it was a day to take you love one out for a candle light dinner. Yes, that's romantic.

But was all that necessary?

Who said that one must send red roses to their valentine on this day?

Who decided that one must have dinner in a dimly-lit room with forks and knives with their valentine on this day?

Does it mean that the more roses that one sent, your love for the other is bigger or of more value or richer?

Don't get me wrong. I still blush with happiness whenever I receive flowers on this day, and smile at myself whenever I think of that someone. It's the little gimmicks like this that keep the love going.

But was that all necessary?

Here I am, sitting in front of my desk, looking at the flowers that I received in the day, yet only the feeling of tiredness and dread envelop me.

These flowers are dying. And I hate them.

Red roses are turning into black petals. Dark and ugly.

Until someone called me nearly one in the morning, and came to my place with a bunch of roses.

They were pink, fresh, and pure. They bloomed with the heart of the giver.

And I was happy. Not because I received flowers. But because someone still cared enough to know that I was alone on valentine's day and came to me, even though it might not be valentine's anymore.

I may still be alone. But I have friends who cared. Enough to search the area at midnight to get flowers and make the journey to my place. Friends who love me enough to take care of me in such a sense.

Never my lover, yet today, he was my valentine.

I thank you.

I may be alone, but my heart is warm.

Guys, people, I love you all!!! Happy valentine's day, and may all your days be as sweet as valentine!!!! Cheers!!!

50th Dive

I just realized that I have done exactly fifty dives within a year of gaining my PADI Open Water!!! Wow!!!

I have never imagined that I could actually do it. I mean, it was not even in my mind to try out diving two Octobers ago. But now here I was making fifty dives in less than a year, I should probably give myself a good pat on my back!!! Ha ha!!!

Not that it was anything to babbled for many respectable, hard core divers, but it was a significant milestone for me.

Cheer, guys!!! I did fifty dives in ten months!!! Ha ha!!!

Diving in a Cave

A few of us went diving in a cave somewhere in the area of Bau, Kuching the day before. Yes, we dived in a cave. A high-ceilinged cave, with a small body of water from the entrance halfway into the cave. This was no cave diving in the normal perception.

It was raining heavily in the morning before we went up to the cave in four vehicles. Some were worried about the weather, some were worried about the darkness underwater, some were worried about the cold water, but mostly, at least for me, I was more worried about the mountain rush of flood that was known to sweep people away.

The rain stopped when we reached the cave, which was situated off road, some distance away into the bushes. There was a trail for a single car to pass through, which was both rocky and muddy. Trees and underbushes had overgrown over the track, hitting the windscreen everytime we passed. I drove my Pajero as slow as I could, while CS and Angel chatted. Angel was all bubbly with excitement. It had been a while since I last saw her this elated.

We parked in a small clearing just outside the cave. Then, we changed and got our gears ready. I was a little slow and unorganized. It had been two months since I last dived. You get a little rusty after a while.

The cave was a lime-stoned cave, with high-rising walls that reached about eight metres in height. The walls were rough and red, with different rock formation. When light was shine upon them, it glittered with gold colours. It was once a gold mine.

The water was right at the entrance. When disturbed, the sediments at the bottom would muddied it. The sediment particles were red, like the walls. They were not exactly mud, nor sand, or even silt. I would just call them red sendiments for the time being.

With our fins and torch in hand, we wadded into the cold water. David was our guide, and he brought us in. Everyone was rather disorganised in the first place. It was dark, and the visibility rather bad. Everybody tried to stick together, which in the end caused us all to bump together, like a school of big fish.

The water was swallow, 4 to 5 metres deep at most. Thus, it was important that we keep ourselves buoyant and not disturbed the sediment bed. Lights were shining everywhere from torches and camera flashes (we brought underwater cameras). There was nothing much on the bottom except for rocks and sediments and a few near transparent fishes. These fishes were so small and thin, that it made you think of those who were never fed enough. The fishes were non-responsive when the lights were shone on them. They were either not used to having to run from danger, or they were just too starved tired to give you a damn.

It was not long before we came to the end of the water body in the cave. From the shore up it was another long passageway deep into the darkness. We could still see light from where we entered the water. There was a bend halfway down the cave, but it was not so steep that it blocked out the light.

The few of us took a few pictures at the end of the water body before we submerged again and dived our way back. We were getting colder by the minute. At one point, my light went out. It was not just mine. A few of us suffered the same fate underwater. The light would come again when we surfaced, and off a little while later underwater. We were guessing that it was the cold that turned the lights off.

This was not exactly cave diving. But it was really a unique experience, and a good introduction if one was interested in cave diving. I won't mind trying another cave dive, but not this cave anymore.