Disoriented

I woke up this morning, not knowing what day or time was it.

Everything was a blur in my head.

I had the weirdest dreams. People from different walks of my life were in there, doing things that I did not think that they would normally do. I guessed that they were not bad dreams, at least the lightings were good in them. That said something.

We were in this little japanese room, the size roughly around six tatamis, and sitting in a circle. There was a picture perched on a drawing rack at the right corner of the room, and a sliding door that opened up to the garden (I thought it was a garden) was just beside the drawing, in the middle of the area. People from my present and past life were sitting in a circle in that room. It was like we were having a cell meeting, with education and good will in mind. It was like a family in spirit, something that I once felt when I was still in church.

But I am not in church anymore, and I resent that.

I am alone now, and I don't care. I would rather be on my own, than having to go back and face those people who kill in the name of God. Those who said that they loved and cared for me, yet abandoned me in times of crisis.

That was how I learned to grow strong. I was left alone when I was dying.

What does not kill you, will only make you stronger.

I guess my church nowadays is the open water. That was the drawings on that picture perched at the side of that room in my dream. :)

After thoughts: This is the closest that I would get to talking about my past. Don't touch me there if you are still with me.