How to Save a Life - The Fray (2005)

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Chorus:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Chorus:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Chorus:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

*Repeat Chorus 3X*

How to save a life

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Monkeo

Monkeo is my friend.

I have known her since 1998, and we have been very good friends since.

Very good friends: def. A person or a group of people whom one shares a solid relationship(s), tied together by the same interest or a connection of mind, heart or soul.

Monkeo is small and thin, like a monkey. Short in her height and short in her hair length, she wears a pair of glasses. Hence, I cannot really remember what her eyes are like. I guess they are small, hidden behind those glasses. But hey, you don't need big eyes to see the world.

Monkeo and I went to college together. She sat at the back while I took the front seat. She was thin and I was fat. I walked up to her one day and decided we should be friends. That day, we went to Sunway Pyramid's McDonald and sat there the whole afternoon reading our texts and talked.

That was how it all started.

Monkeo and I liked to drink tea. Well, not the tea. We liked it when we could just sit in one little shop and talk the whole afternoon away. We would then have dinner at that shop too, and kept on talking until it was time to close.

We were young, right? Time was the only asset we possessed.

The time I spent with Monkeo, was the period of my life where I watched the most movies. We could catch two to three movies in a week. Most of my pocket money went into the Golden Screen Cinema. We would catch a bus in the afternoon right after class, and paid 50 cents to get to the Pyramid. Monkeo walked a fast pace, and I would always have to follow in an equally *pant* fast pace, with heavy knapsacks on our backs, and all our previous class materials and texts in them. I wonder now why I did not slim down with all those hard work?

When we finished college, Monkeo and I decided that we would like to be pharmacists. So, we started our university application. Monkeo got a place in a university near her home, and I got into another university which provided courses from overseas institutions. We went our seperate ways after that.

All throughout our university life we did not see each other. The next time I saw her, we were already pharmacists.

Monkeo came in her slippers and shorts looking exactly like a tourist in town, with that heavy knapsack on her back again. Her pace was still fast, and her talking faster. Monkeo was still the same. Time moved on, but there were things that would always be the same. :)

Monkeo is my friend, and I guess we will be even to the day we both passed on. Somethings will never change. Right, friend?

Imagine You & Me

Ever thought about going gay?

Or is it something that one just felt, and not decide?

Sexual confusion.

Does everyone feel it, or is it just a portion of us?

Do we feel it sometimes, at a certain period of our life? Or do we just know?

Sexual confusion.

We are not supposed to be confused. Initially, there were only a man and a woman.

Just one man, and just one woman.

Man and woman, they fit, like two jigsaw puzzles.

Man and man, or woman and woman, they are two of the same pieces.

And that is the saddest part of it all. They match, but they don't fit.

Sexual confusion. We are not supposed to be confused.

It's just you and me... imagine that...

I'm A Big Girl Now!!!

Last Sunday was the day when I went independent. Remember how you feel when you first leave home and step into the world? That was how I felt when I finally decided to ditch my "mother" ship and join the "big boys".

Now when my instructor, Edward, organises diving trip, he usually takes people enough for one boat. A big one could take a rough figure of twenty people. But on this particular day, he suddenly decided to take two boats of people instead of one. One he duped the beginner/leisure boat, and the other, the hunting boat!!!

When Edward was arranging the names for both boats, I told him that I wanted the join the other boat (i.e. the hunting boat), without realising at that time that it was a hunter's group. When I actually met these "hunters" in person, I realised that this could be another huge step of growing up for me as a diver.

Tough, was the only impression I could have about them. No longer was there our "daddy" (i.e. Edward, instructor) or "mummy" (i.e. Kim, the assistant) to watch over us, or in this case, ME!!! I was the most inexperience of them all, though not the youngest yet. The youngest was a petite little lady with dark skin and a butter-melting voice. She was married (too bad, guys) with a one-year-old. Her husband came with her, weighing approximately 105kg??

Fourteen of us went on board the "hunting" boat, and it took us out to Talang Besar. My buddy was a centimetre-182 guy with a dragon tattoo circling halfway around his belly button. I was staring at his dragon at one point (so very un-lady-like of me!!) and I asked him if he had that tattoo made in a way that it actually stood out in 3-D? They laughed at me!!! Guessed it was just my eyes playing tricks on me. Sheesh...

Two dives that day. Each one lasted about 60 min in average. Now, I was finally able to organize myself to get my gear onto my back and put on everything (i.e. fins, mask) without another's help. When you are on a "babysit-ted" boat, you would get people to carry your tank and fins for you so it would be easier to put everything on. But not anymore, I am a big girl now. I didn't need "daddy" or "mummy" to carry my things for me. Dad!!! I know how to tie my fins around my booties!!! Oh, I'm so proud of myself!!! (Contented sigh...)

We did not dive too deep. The depth was less that 10 metres, and at one point I was so near the surface, I had a "runaway ascent" (i.e. ascending involuntarily and going too fast, which is extremely dangerous). But due to the fact that I was not too far from the surface when the ascend took place, I am still alive today (literally speaking). I struggled for a few seconds to get back down, but gave up after a while. I decided to just watch my buddy dragon-boy trying to catch a lobster underneath the rock. The water was too shallow, no point getting down there again and get yourself sick with decompression.

And I was the luckiest girl in Talang-Talang that day. Who gets to see a sea-horse? Me!!! Second dive. Free descent to the bottom, and there it was, all white and red, floating just beside its coral habitat. Smaller than an ear-ring's hook, it took off in a swish when I tried to come nearer. Hey, I was just trying to be friends!!! Don't go running away from me!!!

The current was strong at the end of the dive. Two of us got swept away so far that no amount of emergency whistling or waving could get the people onboard to take notice. The lucky thing was, the waves were not high that day, and somehow, someone spotted them, and took the boat nearer so we could pick them up. People, if you ever go diving, don't forget to always be extra careful with your orientation and navigation.

Is that the Right Hormone???

What is going to happen if guys started to pop Norethisterone (I.E. synthetic, i.e. man-made, progesterone, i.e. female hormone) into their body? On top of that, they are also taking Clomifene.

All you pharmacists out there!!!! If you are reading this, please give me some feedback!!! I have absolutely no idea what all this would do to a male structure, other than making him more feminine.